When the Season Changes and You Can’t Find Your Bearings

…a story for leaders who feel like they’re navigating in the dark

Every year around this time, something familiar happens to me and for a long time, I thought it meant something was wrong.

I start to feel like I’m moving around in the dark.
Not depressed. Not lost. But… disoriented.
Like the internal GPS that works so well the rest of the year suddenly needs recalibration.

And for years, I blamed myself.

I should try harder.
I should push through.
I should be more organized, more aligned, more consistent…
(You know the drill. You probably say similar things to yourself.)

But this year, something different happened.

As the mornings got colder and the days shortened, I noticed a subtle fear rising in my chest a tension that didn’t feel like mine.

So I paused long enough to ask:

“Whose pattern am I actually feeling?”

Was it me who felt stressed about the holidays?
Or was it the imprint of my parents’ stress?
Their expectations?
Their unspoken fears or seasonal overwhelm?
The beliefs they inherited from their parents before that?

So much of what we carry at this time of year… isn’t even ours.

And when I finally stopped long enough to listen, something softened.

Nature Has No Interest in Your Burnout

That morning, I stepped outside before work for a walk with a friend breath visible in the cool air, dog ecstatic to come along, the world quiet in that November way.

And I noticed:
the moon, the sun, the cold air, the smell of the fields none of it was trying to activate my stress response.
None of it demanded urgency or performance.
None of it reflected burnout.

Nature was completely indifferent to the internal pressure I’d been putting on myself.

In fact, it felt kind.
Steady.
Unrushed.
Like it was holding space for me to remember something simple:

Your nervous system is allowed to have seasons, too.

When a vole darted across the snow-covered field, disappearing between tufts of stick-season grasses, I caught myself smiling.

There was a tiny, wild life continuing on, completely unaffected by expectations or inherited narratives.
It was simply being what it is.

And something inside me whispered:

“Maybe you can be that honest too.”

Befriending What Feels Off

I realized that part of my disorientation wasn’t failure it was grief.
Grief for old identities.
Old stories.
Old versions of myself who survived by pushing through seasons that asked for softness.

And instead of tightening, I experimented with something different:

Could I meet these patterns with kindness, instead of discipline?
Could I soften around what’s shifting, instead of gripping the old way?
Could I let myself receive the season, not fight it?

And what I found was… yes.
There is room for kindness.
There is room for love.
There is room for a heart that wants to align with nature rather than override it.

For My Leaders Who Burn Out

If you’re reading this, I know something about you already:

You’re good at pushing.
You’re good at performing.
You lead, you solve, you carry, you hold it all together for others.

But your inner world starts to change this time of year, and you don’t always know what to do with it.
There’s a heaviness you can’t explain.
Or a numbness you hide because you’ve been taught that feelings slow you down.
Or a disconnection that creeps in when the days get shorter and the expectations get higher.

If you feel like you’re moving through the dark right now if your bearings feel off you are not alone.

And there is nothing wrong with you.

This might simply be the season where your nervous system is asking you to come home.

If This Resonates, I Made Something for You

If you relate to this in any way… if the story you inherited around this season feels heavy or outdated… if you find yourself craving gentleness but defaulting to pressure…

I want to share something with you.

I created a short Befriending Body– Meditation
a guided practice to help you soften into this season instead of bracing against it.

It’s gentle.
It’s grounding.
And it’s designed specifically for people who lead… and often forget how to receive.

Just comment “BEFRIEND” or send me a message, and I’ll send it to you.

And if you want deeper support to understand your patterns, regulate your system, and move into the holidays with clarity instead of exhaustion you can book a private call with me.

There is another way to move through this season.
One that feels like relief instead of resistance.

You don’t have to navigate the dark alone.

Jennifer Degen
November 15, 2025

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