Are My Thoughts Really Me?

Aug 22

When I was younger, I genuinely believed that my thoughts were me. Every passing idea felt like the absolute truth especially when it echoed the voice of my father, my grandmother, or even the confident boy sitting in the front row of class. Their words carried weight, and so did the thoughts they seemed to inspire in my head. I never questioned them. Why would I? They felt real.

For years, I lived in the shadows of voices that weren’t mine. I believed that what others thought or projected must be more valid than what I felt inside. I compared myself relentlessly—to the effortlessly polished girl at the café, to the radiant calm of someone who "had it all together." Each time, a loop played in my mind:

“That’s not you. You can’t have that. You’re not like them.”

This is the saboteur voice—the inner critic shaped by fear, self-doubt, and a brain wired to survive, not thrive. It’s the part of the mind that tries to protect us from rejection or failure, but in doing so, it clips our wings. It keeps us small, stuck, and silent.

Here’s the truth I didn’t know back then: thoughts are not facts. Thoughts are not identity.

They’re patterns neural grooves that deepen with repetition. And like any pattern, they can be interrupted. They can be replaced.

Thanks to neuroplasticity, we know that the brain is not fixed. It's constantly reshaping itself based on what we repeat and focus on. So when you start to question your thoughts asking, “Is this really true? Who told me this? What if I’m more than this?” you’re not just thinking differently; you’re rewiring your brain.

That shift begins the moment you observe your thoughts instead of being ruled by them. That’s when you stop being the voice and start becoming the observer of the voice.

You are not your thoughts.
You are the thinker of those thoughts.

And the thinker has a choice. A powerful one.
You can choose to interrupt old mental patterns.
You can choose to practice new beliefs.
You can choose to create a new inner dialogue.

Thought by thought, you can rewire your mind toward the person you’re becoming—not the person your past told you to be.

If you’ve been noticing those looping thoughts that tell you what you can’t do or who you can’t be, I’d love to hear about it. What feels like it can’t change right now?

Let’s have a quick Resilience Chat—a space to share what’s looping in your mind and explore what might be possible when you begin to shift those patterns.

Book your free Resilience Chat here

Jennifer Degen
August 22, 2025

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